ko me božaš od zadaj se mi mravljinci sprehajajo po notranji strani stegna in prsi zaplapolajo v vetru strasti prsti objamejo belo rjuho slina se pocedi od naslade greha telo spreleti potres in ti uživaš ob gledanju lesketajoče beline moje kože
Hello dear readers, I have another video postcard for you, this time from Crete, Greece. Me and my boyfriend were visiting this wonderful island last week and it was amazing. Wonderful beaches, great food, kind people, and low prices. You can't ask for more, it was a true paradise. I hope you'll enjoy the video! P.s.: watch in HQ! :)
I'm writing this post while I'm having a vacation in Crete, Greece. You may say, why are you bothering with writing a post while you should be enjoying? See, I like to enjoy things and be completely free, but when it comes to promises I don't want to break them. I promised to myself I'm going to post every tuesday, no matter what happens. And Drama in my head is a place where I like to share my toughts and I feel that I do something good. Before that, I had again a small breakdown. I was really angry, with myself and with the world. I went running to find a place to be alone and to cry myself out. I was in a wonderful place, but my heart suffered. I am without job right now, even small one, my finances are getting low and my art is not really selling. Beside that, the newspaper I'm writing for this month cannot publish my articles because they are out of money. This would be ok if I wouldnt have to spend a lot of money for my rent and life in Milan, where I recently moved with my boyfriend. I had a small crazy conversation with myself while tears were falling down my cheeks, and it helped me realize that everything is not so bad as it seems. But what I learned from all these months, is that without sacrifice you cannot achieve anything in life. (unless success means being in reality tv show) Your time is sacred. And if you are going to sacrifice one hour to learn something new, or to make a post, write some pages, do a painting, even on your vacation on on day when you really don't feel ok, you are on the way to succed. If you are going to wake up half an hour earlier to do those 50 abs exercices, you will have a flat belly until the summer. If you're going to do two pages a day, you will certainly become more expert in writing. The difficult part is to learn when to say no to things you want to do. When you have to sacrifice a part of your dream that you like in order to achieve something. I really suck at this. I like different things and I get new ideas all the time. It's a torture to say no to some of them because You need to focus in order to get something done. It's really difficult, specially if you are a multipassionate person as I am. In this case, you need to know how to keep everything on track and proceed with the same speed. Then sooner or later life will put you on the question where you will have to decide. I feel that this point is coming very soon. Until that, I'll keep juggling with my art and see what is the thing people need most of me. What is the thing I can make a difference with. Do you also feel sometimes the call of the sacrifice? What do you do, are you loyal or you let it go? Let me know in the comments below!
People around me know I am a big dreamer. I do love creating stories and fantasies in my mind and I fully enjoy that. But how much is too much? What if your dreams are even too big for you sometimes? When do you have to come back to the earth and put those pinky sunglasses away for a while? I guess this moment come when: a) you suddenly don't know what is your purpose (and then you google: how to discover your life passion)
b) you feel stuck in your life so you go and watch youtube videos about meth addicts all day (just to remember yourself not to ever go so low I guess)
c) your dream seem just too big to achieve so it's even not worth starting because you're never gonna make it, right?
What to do when you realize you're on this point, being totally unproductive? (pushing refresh button on your facebook doesn't count as productivity)
I suggest you three simple steps, that I find helpful when I find myself in that kind of toxic circle: 1) switch off all your devices (yes, also your smartphone)
2) go out of your appartment (veeeery important! no excuse!) bring some paper and pencil with you. It's the change of environement that makes you feel better, you will suddenly see things in a different way. Brainstorming and goal making can start! 3) prioritize and make a small step. (what is one thing that you can do today, NOW, to make a step towards your dream? for example, I want to write a book. But I know it won't be written just magically overnight. So I started with 2 pages a day. And it's not going to be a novel yet, I'm glad if I can make it to short story. But slowly, slowly, I am going up.)
What are your favourite techinques when it's all dark? Let me know in the comments below!