At this point, I have to thank hugely to my mother. She's the one who usually pushes me the hardest to accomplish things in life. (I'm still learning to push myself harder as she does)
As always before I need to give a small speech I felt uncomfortable. The stomach began to perform his favourite shaking dance, my voice and my head have gone in some other universum, my hands were completely useless... and then it goes, you are thrown to the ocean and you swim.
I wasn't talking about my work really, I was talking about what exhibiting my work means to me.
It is a constant provocation to put myself out there. It's kind of mazochistic thing, it hurts when you know someone will look at your work, your soul.
You are not going to be safe anymore, you are putting your heart on strong exposure. This is scary.
But when is done, you feel relieved. And satisfied. Because You've done it. And it doesn't matter if everything is perfect or if everyone liked it, it's done.
You won the battle against your inner hater who tells you it's not good enough.
I realized one more important thing. There are no mistakes in art. Because art has its own life. If you are trying to make a work of art perfect, it's like trying to get yourself perfect: you can get liposuction, nose job, boobs job.. and in the end you see that there is no point in all this surgery because you are just making things worse. Your work is the reflection of that moment and it has it's own highlights and shadows. It's ok like this, it has life inside it. Remember that you are not the one to judge the work, it's on you to do it.
And people feel that. They don't look at the "mistakes". They just congratulate you and wishes you all the best. Many of them said to me that they are looking forward for the next one. This is how it goes. You need to keep going forward, getting better. But don't forget to have fun with your work, to make it an exploration, adventure.
If you have something that you need to express, do it. Because what can you lose? You can just make a world a little more beautiful and you will feel more alive. Please, we need more beauty and there is no need to hide those inspiring works in your drawer. Be uncomfortable for a moment and make a difference or be comfortable and self-denying for all your life. It's your choice.