August 26, 2014

RIDING ON FEAR

I came back from a travel holiday few days ago, and I found myself sticking around, not knowing what to do with all this stable dynamics. When traveling, time passes differently. Even tough it was just a twelve days trip, it seemed a month. And in the end me and my boyfriend both agreed it could be just a great beginning.

We traveled with a motorbike, which is a completely different experience than traveling with a car or with public transport. I was afraid of motorbikes few years ago, along with many things. I remember trying to convince my boyfriend to go with a car instead, picturing in my head all the brutal accidents that could happen on the road. But as soon as we started driving, I realised how enormously stupid fear is. And this fear gets me every time. 

After few miles of driving through the forest we catch the sight of the sea, my other lover. I could already smell the salty breeze that caressed our naked necks. What I love about traveling with a motorbike is that you sense everything so intense. You are not closed in a safe box of a car, you feel the temperature, you hear the voices and sounds on the road, you smell the odours of nature, cities and cars, you feel the danger and the speed.

Motorbike gives you freedom, but every freedom has a price. You are like a nomad, wandering around in big boots and motorbike jacket even when it's 35 degrees with sun shining. You have to carry around all of your belongings including protection belts, gloves, documents and helmet. It's not for everyone, but it is for everyone who craves of something wild and free.

Maybe few years ago I wouldn't be ready for a travel like this. My travel bags were usually full of shoes, dresses and accessories. That outfit needed that bag, and I couldn't be in the same dress everyday, what kind of fashion girl would do that. And yet I find traveling light so deliberating, I had just one small bag, smaller than hand-luggage on a plane, where I had to put only urgent things that I'll need on the road. When my brother saw the bags, he asked me how was I supposed to put everything in those two small bags, I smiled: just one is mine.

This kind of travel changes the way you see yourself. With a everyday use of helmet, you can forget about good hair days. And your make up routine gets down to a lipstick and sunscreen. But the most curious thing is that you don't even need all those tricks that society states them as required. The wilderness and the road need no gold, no shiny belts or bracelets, no super full lashes mascara. What is a real beauty is waking up with a sun shining on your tent, hearing the sea waves few meters away, beside a person you love and you are so grateful for everything that exist in this world. You start enjoying small things as having a DIY salad on the beach, making grill with other people in camping, playing with small kittens on the street, enjoying the silence and darkness of the night full of stars.

Most of the time we are too spoiled and we forget that those are the things that make our existence full. No fancy beach bars, no loud music and cocktails, no glamour, nothing superficial can overcome the beauty of simplicity. If you are lucky and have a chance to find a private corner, I say also no clothes.

Now I crave for another voyage. I'd love to make longer one, the kind of travel that stretches your mind, that puts you in a position where you have no option but to hold on tight and ride. Through life, through your toughts, through the questions that may be life changing. Every non-conformist travel is a kick into reality, making you notice things you need to change, areas where you need to grow, fears you need to overcome.

And after any of this, you feel a bit more free, a bit more naked to yourself, but more strong. More wild.




















more about the travel in the next post!

August 5, 2014

EARLY MORNINGS



there's a special energy in early mornings
calm and pure but still mysterious
everyone still asleep and aware of nothing
you woke up
to see the sunrise drinking coffee
and smelling the serenity of empty streets
 sensing the vibes of the day that is about to come
smiling at the sky
as this little morning time was your little secret



I made this cotton dotted top few days ago and I've been wearing it like, all the time. I felt the need of creating something that I can wear, something simple, classic but with a twist. So I designed a top with simple front and with open back. It can be worn both as lingerie or daywear, and this is what makes me thinking that I may need more versatile clothes like that.



The fabric is quite old, I found it in a pile of stuff that my grandmother used for sewing, and it could give a touch of vintage, but then it recompenses with the open back that is sexy in a non traditional way. 


The pictures were taken in the morning, I wear no make up. Few years ago I'd be horrified to have my face photographed without make up, but with years you grow and your self-love also improves, you accept things on your body that you used to call them imperfections, and translate them into specialities. Everything is in your interpretation and attitude, you decide if you want to feel beautiful or not.  










July 30, 2014

on being a child in adult way





  • In the last few days I feel that my life has going to have a slight twist. Not in a bad direction, I mean. Let’s say I was too scared to admit, but it had to come to this point, where you need to take some compromises, in order to find yourself and your purpose.




  • Before writing this I went for a walk in the nearest park, where was a swing. I sat for a while and start pushing my legs up in the sky and down, in order to get higher, faster. It was just me and this simple act of swinging, the sky had Monet’s colours because of previous storm and there was no one around. How can you become so quickly focused on something? It’s true that usually when doing simple and repetitive actions that we’ve been doing for all our life, or things that we used to do as kids, we get the best ideas and memories, feeling memories.




  • I said some weeks ago to my boyfriend that I don’t want to grow up because the world is too scary and too rough for me. I was in a Peter Pan’s mood and nothing could change my view on things. Than happened few things and I realised that maybe not everything is so dark and heavy, but there are people who do have feelings, dreams and fears as I do, and thinking in this direction it helped me open more.





  • I am still in discovery, still searching for the right light. And I need to learn to be patient. I need to relearn how to play. How not to forget to feed that Peter Pan inside me. Slowly, gradually, with baby steps. Less comparison, less self-judgement, less perfection, more play, more love, more faith.


                              



July 22, 2014

LA CASA DELLE ARTISTE


Last friday I had a presentation of my work at La Casa delle Artiste in Milan, Italy. It was really nice to be there and meet other similar minds. I' m sharing with you some pictures, and let's say, outfit post after a long time. 

home-made aperitivo

at the presentation

what makes you feel beautiful project


with prints


La casa delle artiste is partly also a museum of italian poet Alda Merini


Lately I've been wearing more minimalistic clothes than ever. Simplifying things makes life less stressful.

enjoying the good company of friends

July 15, 2014

ON BEAUTIFUL THINGS

težko je pisati o lepih stvareh 
ker smo navajeni brati grde 
in potem je najlepše besede tega sveta 
tako nemogoče izreči 
napisati zapeti 
tisti ljubim te 
ostane nekje sredi grla 
in ven pride le grgrajoč zvok 
in sva kar tiho, 
v nekem čakanju 
da bo kdo kaj rekel 
kdo si bo prvi upal priznati 
da smo tako zelo sami 
in da je tisti poleg nas
nekdo ki je tam tudi ko je temno 
ko se bliska in grmi 
in bi mu morali dati prizanja 
plakete in medalje 
ga slaviti vsak dan z rožami 
in obsuti vsako polno uro s sto poljubi 
povzdigniti na oltar in se mu pokloniti 
ker je skupaj z nami majhen 

gledam te v oči in se ti nasmehnem

 .......................................................

    it's hard to write about beautiful things
because we're used to read the ugly ones
and then the most beautiful words 
of this planet are so tough to say
to write to sing
that I love you
get stuck somewhere in
the middle of throat
and what comes out
is just some gargling
and we're quiet
somehow waiting
that someone will say something
who'll be the first one to admit
that we're so so lonely
and that the one besides us
is someone who's there also 
when it's dark and stormy
and we should give him diplomas
medals and citations
celebrate him with flowers every day
every hour kiss him a hundred times
put him on the altar and praise him
because he decided to be so small with us

I look into your eyes and I smile





July 8, 2014

THE TRUTH

I saw emptiness when I was looking at the world
I heard silence when listening to birds singing
I tasted no flavour when eating cakes
I found hate when people talked to me
Inside me was a black hole
Sucking juices of life
And leaving nothing behind

but the truth has saved me
enlightened what is real and what not
my truth is my freedom
my truth is my hope
my truth is my love





July 1, 2014

WANDERLIFE


do you ever think of death? 

we all should.

we are going to die. we will be old with grey hair and legs that won't obey us. 

no moment is for sure.

no moment is guaranteed.

can you imagine that you can die right now, after reading this post?

would there be any trace left by you?  


I dare you to think about it. 

if you'd remind yourself of death more often, you'd recognise how much time we waste.


we argue with our loved ones because of stupid things.

we spend time doing things that make us depressed.

we think too much about negative things. 


we are scared to be who we realy are: 

beautiful, elegant, happy, and graceful



we tend to hide our greatness 

saying to ourselves that we're not good enough

treating ourselves bad


while we should look up the sky more often

 and realize that we can free ourselves only by our own

 
reality is in the eye of the beholder


would you start laughing when you know our time is limited?

would you hug more, love more?

would you stop worrying and embrace life how it is?




Do it.


All photos by me.


June 24, 2014

OUTSIDERS & CO

I am an outsider, I've always been one. In the primary school I was the nerdy one that was always reading and talking about LOTR. In high school I wanted to be a part of the society but it really didn't work out well. Design university turned out to be the institution where I felt the best: I met people weird as I am. I'm so thankful for that because they are one of the most brilliant, kind and inspiring persons in my life and I don't know if I'd be who I am today without them.


  Being the outsider doesn't actually mean that you are unpopular, sad and strange person. Sometimes you are some of those, but not necessarily. I see being an outsider more as a choice than a fact, and I can't see myself choosing different.

In the last days I've been participating in an art project in Milan, that in the first sight I found quite interesting. It turned out that it was more like a high school: the rich and braggy artists were the ones that got attention while some others (including me) were not important enough to get any of it. It didn't matter if the ideas were much more innovative, it was all about the name and the money.

Me and some cool folks pulled out when it was already too humiliating to be there and being ignored for everything you say. An experience in CV is not worth that much.

Back in my universitiy time, my dear professor said something that back in those times I didn't even pay attention to, but it came in to my mind today:

Don't try to be a part of them, because they'll never let you to. Make your own winning team. 


My life experience confirms this every f* time. When I worked with someone that believed in the same things I did, with someone that was calm, self-conscious, humble and open, we did amazing things. And whenever I found myself in a bunch of assholes with big ego and small brain I escaped dissapointed.

It's really imporant to be surrounded by people who believe in you, who support you, who love you for who you are, who know to listen and who don't need to prove anything to anyone. With this kind of people in your team, you are going to win. And the prize may not be a big amount of money or anything fancy, but it will be an inside win, that makes this world worth living, proving there are people with heart and vision and where is still possible to express yourself and create something beautiful together.

What about you? What are your experiences with insiders/outsiders? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you for reading and commenting, you definitely are part of my winning team! :)  




June 17, 2014

LET YOURSELF GLOW

Do you like inspirational quotes about how to live your life to the fullest? I certainly do, there are tons of them on the social networks nowadays. Surrounded by beautiful pictures with happy people, written in fancy fonts they are like a cupcake for the day. I admit, some days I have too many. I like to loose myself reading inspirational stories and looking at the nice pictures daydreaming about all the possibilities that can occur in my life. In real life, when you really go for your dream is not really flowery and easy, that's for sure. But one thing is for sure: if you don't take the road that was meant for you, that your heart is begging you to take, you will regret it for all your life.

I've recently watched french movie Blue is the warmest color (that I highly recommend) where the main character Adèle is having a relationship with older girl, an art student. Adèle likes to read and she also writes, but she hasn't the courage to expose her work. Her artsy girlfriend encourages her to write, to try create something hers that will fulfill her. Adèle responds that she has the love that fulfills her, and that she only writes for herself. Later in the movie we see that her parents doesn't really believe in art because it's difficult to live and eat from it. When her girlfriend is preparing an exhibition and working long hours she is unhappy and cheats her with another man. The artist find out and she brokes up with Adèle. 

Infidelity, according to Steven Pressfield in War of Art, is one of the main excuses for not  doing your art. Then come drugs, partying, any kind of addictions, food, sex, alcohol, .. all this are dramas that were supposed to be art. 

Instead of doing what we secretly want to do, we destroy ourselves, we destroy our relationships, our time, our hopes. If we don't do our art, we suffer. And people around us suffer. Because people who love you wants you to shine. If they love you for real, they will understand that you need that hour or two a day to create and be just by yourself. 
When I don't create, I'm really getting on everyone's nerves, I really can't support myself.
That's why the best time to do art (if you can) is in the morning. In this way you have all the day to live calmly in peace with yourself. You've done your soul work for that day. The world seems nicer. 

Now go there, do your work and let yourself GLOW. Thank you.



June 10, 2014

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR


There is no place like Greece. I don't know any place where you can feel so free, where people are so kind and friendly, where you eat great food and you never feel that you have to pretend that you're someone that you're not. It's important to just be. Doesn't matter if your car is old and your house may need maintenace, why should you bother when you have the SEA. And you are alive. 

I have never heard any complain about the crysis. Not even once. And that made me think; it's really your mind and your toughts that CAN change your life. People were happy for what they had, for fresh tomatoes, for flowers and fish, for having each other and for living where they live,in one of the most beautiful places in the world. They could complain that there is no work, that Greece is in crysis, but what I experienced was only kindness, happiness with simple life, curiosity of new things, blessings of the nature that is all around. 

In the past days I'm trying to apply this greek attitude to my life. I am thankful for what I have and when I am open as the ocean, when I'm kind and calm, compassionate and when I try to connect, the new doors open. 

All because of the sea in my eyes.