July 30, 2014

on being a child in adult way





  • In the last few days I feel that my life has going to have a slight twist. Not in a bad direction, I mean. Let’s say I was too scared to admit, but it had to come to this point, where you need to take some compromises, in order to find yourself and your purpose.




  • Before writing this I went for a walk in the nearest park, where was a swing. I sat for a while and start pushing my legs up in the sky and down, in order to get higher, faster. It was just me and this simple act of swinging, the sky had Monet’s colours because of previous storm and there was no one around. How can you become so quickly focused on something? It’s true that usually when doing simple and repetitive actions that we’ve been doing for all our life, or things that we used to do as kids, we get the best ideas and memories, feeling memories.




  • I said some weeks ago to my boyfriend that I don’t want to grow up because the world is too scary and too rough for me. I was in a Peter Pan’s mood and nothing could change my view on things. Than happened few things and I realised that maybe not everything is so dark and heavy, but there are people who do have feelings, dreams and fears as I do, and thinking in this direction it helped me open more.





  • I am still in discovery, still searching for the right light. And I need to learn to be patient. I need to relearn how to play. How not to forget to feed that Peter Pan inside me. Slowly, gradually, with baby steps. Less comparison, less self-judgement, less perfection, more play, more love, more faith.


                              



July 22, 2014

LA CASA DELLE ARTISTE


Last friday I had a presentation of my work at La Casa delle Artiste in Milan, Italy. It was really nice to be there and meet other similar minds. I' m sharing with you some pictures, and let's say, outfit post after a long time. 

home-made aperitivo

at the presentation

what makes you feel beautiful project


with prints


La casa delle artiste is partly also a museum of italian poet Alda Merini


Lately I've been wearing more minimalistic clothes than ever. Simplifying things makes life less stressful.

enjoying the good company of friends

July 15, 2014

ON BEAUTIFUL THINGS

težko je pisati o lepih stvareh 
ker smo navajeni brati grde 
in potem je najlepše besede tega sveta 
tako nemogoče izreči 
napisati zapeti 
tisti ljubim te 
ostane nekje sredi grla 
in ven pride le grgrajoč zvok 
in sva kar tiho, 
v nekem čakanju 
da bo kdo kaj rekel 
kdo si bo prvi upal priznati 
da smo tako zelo sami 
in da je tisti poleg nas
nekdo ki je tam tudi ko je temno 
ko se bliska in grmi 
in bi mu morali dati prizanja 
plakete in medalje 
ga slaviti vsak dan z rožami 
in obsuti vsako polno uro s sto poljubi 
povzdigniti na oltar in se mu pokloniti 
ker je skupaj z nami majhen 

gledam te v oči in se ti nasmehnem

 .......................................................

    it's hard to write about beautiful things
because we're used to read the ugly ones
and then the most beautiful words 
of this planet are so tough to say
to write to sing
that I love you
get stuck somewhere in
the middle of throat
and what comes out
is just some gargling
and we're quiet
somehow waiting
that someone will say something
who'll be the first one to admit
that we're so so lonely
and that the one besides us
is someone who's there also 
when it's dark and stormy
and we should give him diplomas
medals and citations
celebrate him with flowers every day
every hour kiss him a hundred times
put him on the altar and praise him
because he decided to be so small with us

I look into your eyes and I smile





July 8, 2014

THE TRUTH

I saw emptiness when I was looking at the world
I heard silence when listening to birds singing
I tasted no flavour when eating cakes
I found hate when people talked to me
Inside me was a black hole
Sucking juices of life
And leaving nothing behind

but the truth has saved me
enlightened what is real and what not
my truth is my freedom
my truth is my hope
my truth is my love





July 1, 2014

WANDERLIFE


do you ever think of death? 

we all should.

we are going to die. we will be old with grey hair and legs that won't obey us. 

no moment is for sure.

no moment is guaranteed.

can you imagine that you can die right now, after reading this post?

would there be any trace left by you?  


I dare you to think about it. 

if you'd remind yourself of death more often, you'd recognise how much time we waste.


we argue with our loved ones because of stupid things.

we spend time doing things that make us depressed.

we think too much about negative things. 


we are scared to be who we realy are: 

beautiful, elegant, happy, and graceful



we tend to hide our greatness 

saying to ourselves that we're not good enough

treating ourselves bad


while we should look up the sky more often

 and realize that we can free ourselves only by our own

 
reality is in the eye of the beholder


would you start laughing when you know our time is limited?

would you hug more, love more?

would you stop worrying and embrace life how it is?




Do it.


All photos by me.


June 24, 2014

OUTSIDERS & CO

I am an outsider, I've always been one. In the primary school I was the nerdy one that was always reading and talking about LOTR. In high school I wanted to be a part of the society but it really didn't work out well. Design university turned out to be the institution where I felt the best: I met people weird as I am. I'm so thankful for that because they are one of the most brilliant, kind and inspiring persons in my life and I don't know if I'd be who I am today without them.


  Being the outsider doesn't actually mean that you are unpopular, sad and strange person. Sometimes you are some of those, but not necessarily. I see being an outsider more as a choice than a fact, and I can't see myself choosing different.

In the last days I've been participating in an art project in Milan, that in the first sight I found quite interesting. It turned out that it was more like a high school: the rich and braggy artists were the ones that got attention while some others (including me) were not important enough to get any of it. It didn't matter if the ideas were much more innovative, it was all about the name and the money.

Me and some cool folks pulled out when it was already too humiliating to be there and being ignored for everything you say. An experience in CV is not worth that much.

Back in my universitiy time, my dear professor said something that back in those times I didn't even pay attention to, but it came in to my mind today:

Don't try to be a part of them, because they'll never let you to. Make your own winning team. 


My life experience confirms this every f* time. When I worked with someone that believed in the same things I did, with someone that was calm, self-conscious, humble and open, we did amazing things. And whenever I found myself in a bunch of assholes with big ego and small brain I escaped dissapointed.

It's really imporant to be surrounded by people who believe in you, who support you, who love you for who you are, who know to listen and who don't need to prove anything to anyone. With this kind of people in your team, you are going to win. And the prize may not be a big amount of money or anything fancy, but it will be an inside win, that makes this world worth living, proving there are people with heart and vision and where is still possible to express yourself and create something beautiful together.

What about you? What are your experiences with insiders/outsiders? Let me know in the comments below! Thank you for reading and commenting, you definitely are part of my winning team! :)  




June 17, 2014

LET YOURSELF GLOW

Do you like inspirational quotes about how to live your life to the fullest? I certainly do, there are tons of them on the social networks nowadays. Surrounded by beautiful pictures with happy people, written in fancy fonts they are like a cupcake for the day. I admit, some days I have too many. I like to loose myself reading inspirational stories and looking at the nice pictures daydreaming about all the possibilities that can occur in my life. In real life, when you really go for your dream is not really flowery and easy, that's for sure. But one thing is for sure: if you don't take the road that was meant for you, that your heart is begging you to take, you will regret it for all your life.

I've recently watched french movie Blue is the warmest color (that I highly recommend) where the main character Adèle is having a relationship with older girl, an art student. Adèle likes to read and she also writes, but she hasn't the courage to expose her work. Her artsy girlfriend encourages her to write, to try create something hers that will fulfill her. Adèle responds that she has the love that fulfills her, and that she only writes for herself. Later in the movie we see that her parents doesn't really believe in art because it's difficult to live and eat from it. When her girlfriend is preparing an exhibition and working long hours she is unhappy and cheats her with another man. The artist find out and she brokes up with Adèle. 

Infidelity, according to Steven Pressfield in War of Art, is one of the main excuses for not  doing your art. Then come drugs, partying, any kind of addictions, food, sex, alcohol, .. all this are dramas that were supposed to be art. 

Instead of doing what we secretly want to do, we destroy ourselves, we destroy our relationships, our time, our hopes. If we don't do our art, we suffer. And people around us suffer. Because people who love you wants you to shine. If they love you for real, they will understand that you need that hour or two a day to create and be just by yourself. 
When I don't create, I'm really getting on everyone's nerves, I really can't support myself.
That's why the best time to do art (if you can) is in the morning. In this way you have all the day to live calmly in peace with yourself. You've done your soul work for that day. The world seems nicer. 

Now go there, do your work and let yourself GLOW. Thank you.



June 10, 2014

BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR


There is no place like Greece. I don't know any place where you can feel so free, where people are so kind and friendly, where you eat great food and you never feel that you have to pretend that you're someone that you're not. It's important to just be. Doesn't matter if your car is old and your house may need maintenace, why should you bother when you have the SEA. And you are alive. 

I have never heard any complain about the crysis. Not even once. And that made me think; it's really your mind and your toughts that CAN change your life. People were happy for what they had, for fresh tomatoes, for flowers and fish, for having each other and for living where they live,in one of the most beautiful places in the world. They could complain that there is no work, that Greece is in crysis, but what I experienced was only kindness, happiness with simple life, curiosity of new things, blessings of the nature that is all around. 

In the past days I'm trying to apply this greek attitude to my life. I am thankful for what I have and when I am open as the ocean, when I'm kind and calm, compassionate and when I try to connect, the new doors open. 

All because of the sea in my eyes.













June 4, 2014

HOW TO STAY STRONG WHEN EVERYTHING SUCKS

Here is the fact: everything sucks these days. 

I guess you've been there too. Everything seems black and you can't see no sun ray coming back to your life, ever. And moreover, everyone around you seem so happy when you are deeply in suffer. If you have that melodramatic side that is sometimes keen on taking things in life too personal and too serious, this post may be for you.

I put together some advices that usually work good for me:

- Admit that it's a shitty day and have a cry.  
 You don't have to be always on top smiling and be perfect in any sitaution. You are just human.

- Have a walk/run.
 It's good to put your body into action, in this way the good hormones start producing and you get new perspective on whole thing.


- Dress up. 
You may tought that this one is a bit srange one, but believe me, just putting your favourite dress on, putting on some make up and bright lipstick can really lift you up.



- Remember yourself of what you've achieved.
Yes, you've already been through a lot. But all the greatest improvements come after a hard time. Remind yourself what you have already done, achieve, and what are your next dreams.

-Count your blessings.
May it seem so obvious, but you are alive. Be grateful for that, and for eveyone that is a part of your life: your friends, family, love...Be grateful for what you can do with your life, remember that not everone is that lucky.

- Treat yourself.
My friend's advice is that whenever she feel bad, she buys some good and expensive healthy food. After that she can really feel strong and empowered. Some other say that there is no better medicine than shopping. Whatever works for you, don't skip this one. As Julia Cameron writes in awesome book The Artist's way: 





Amen to that.

What are your techniques when you feel down? Let me know in the comments below!

May 27, 2014

18+

ko me božaš od zadaj
se mi mravljinci sprehajajo

po notranji strani stegna
in prsi zaplapolajo v vetru strasti
prsti objamejo belo rjuho 

slina se pocedi od naslade greha
telo spreleti potres 
in ti uživaš ob gledanju
lesketajoče beline moje kože

lepo se je ljubiti v temi 




 



                                              

May 20, 2014

FROM CRETE WITH LOVE

Hello dear readers,

I have another video postcard for you, this time from Crete, Greece. Me and my boyfriend were visiting this wonderful island last week and it was amazing. Wonderful beaches, great food, kind people, and low prices. You can't ask for more, it was a true paradise.

I hope you'll enjoy the video!  

P.s.: watch in HQ! :)



May 13, 2014

WHY WITHOUT SACRIFICE THERE IS NO SUCCESS

I'm writing this post while I'm having a vacation in Crete, Greece.  You may say, why are you bothering with writing a post while you should be enjoying? See, I like to enjoy things and be completely free, but when it comes to promises I don't want to break them. I promised to myself I'm going to post every tuesday, no matter what happens. And Drama in my head is a place where I like to share my toughts and I feel that I do something good.
 Before that, I had again a small breakdown. I was really angry, with myself and with the world. I went running to find a place to be alone and to cry myself out. I was in a wonderful place, but my heart suffered. I am without job right now, even small one, my finances are getting low and my art is not really selling. Beside that, the  newspaper I'm writing for this month cannot publish my articles because they are out of money. This would be ok if I wouldnt have to spend a lot of money for my rent and life in Milan, where I recently moved with my boyfriend.

I had a small crazy conversation with myself while tears were falling down my cheeks, and it helped me realize that everything is not so bad as it seems. But what I learned from all these months, is that without sacrifice you cannot achieve anything in life. (unless success means being in reality tv show)

Your time is sacred. And if you are going to sacrifice one hour to learn something new, or to make a post, write some pages, do a painting, even on your vacation on on day when you really don't feel ok, you are on the way to succed. If you are going to wake up half an hour earlier to do those 50 abs exercices, you will have a flat belly until the summer. If you're going to do two pages a day, you will certainly become more expert in writing. 

The difficult part is to learn when to say no to things you want to do. When you have to sacrifice a part of your dream that you like in order to achieve something. I really suck at this. I like different things and I get new ideas all the time. It's a torture to say no to some of them because You need to focus in order to get something done. 

It's really difficult, specially if you are a multipassionate person as I am. In this case, you need to know how to keep everything on track and proceed with the same speed. Then sooner or later life will put you on the question where you will have to decide. I feel that this point is coming very soon.  Until that, I'll keep juggling with my art and see what is the thing people need most of me. What is the thing I can make a difference with. 

Do you also feel sometimes the call of the sacrifice? What do you do, are you loyal or you let it go? Let me know in the comments below!


May 6, 2014

HOW TO STOP BEING STUCK

People around me know I am a big dreamer. I do love creating stories and fantasies in my mind and I fully enjoy that. But how much is too much? What if your dreams are even too big for you sometimes? When do you have to come back to the earth and put those pinky sunglasses away for a while?

I guess this moment come when:

a) you suddenly don't know what is your purpose (and then you google: how to discover your life passion)

b) you feel stuck in your life so you go and watch youtube videos about meth addicts all day (just to remember yourself not to ever go so low I guess)

c) your dream seem just too big to achieve so it's even not worth starting because you're never gonna make it, right?

What to do when you realize you're on this point, being totally unproductive? (pushing refresh button on your facebook doesn't count as productivity)


I suggest you three simple steps, that I find helpful when I find myself in that kind of toxic circle:

1) switch off all your devices (yes, also your smartphone) 

2) go out of your appartment (veeeery important! no excuse!) bring some paper and pencil with you. It's the change of environement that makes you feel better, you will suddenly see things in a different way. Brainstorming and goal making can start!

3) prioritize and make a small step. (what is one thing that you can do today, NOW, to make a step towards your dream? for example, I want to write a book. But I know it won't be written just magically overnight. So I started with 2 pages a day. And it's not going to be a novel yet, I'm glad if I can make it to short story. But slowly, slowly, I am going up.) 


What are your favourite techinques when it's all dark? Let me know in the comments below!

April 29, 2014

A TRIP TO LECCO

Hello dear readers,
today I have a special postcard for you, a video of my last trip to Lecco. Lecco is a very interesting village situated near lake Como in Northern Italy, less than one hour from Milan. With the exquisite view of the lake and the mountains it can really take your breathe away. It was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for a good gelato and focaccia and a walk, trying to capture the sacred moments of joy. 



Trips are something that really nurture my soul and sometimes is nice to go just by yourself.
 To find again peace inside you, to reconnect with your inner artist and to enjoy just the life as it is in that moment. It doesnt really take lots of preparation or money, but it affects your soul for a long time. Time that you give to yourself is something no one can take from you, and it serves for the bad days to remember you that it will all be allright.
I hope you will enjoy the video as much as I did filming it! :) 

p.s.: watch it in HD, full screen for the best experience :)

 

April 22, 2014

VOJNA UMETNOSTI

moji listi so zadnje dni prazni
naslonjeni na omari 
in me gledajo
očitajoče
zakaj jih vendar ne vzamem v roke
jih pobožam s svojo pisavo
ali čopiči
in jaz se izmikam
kot se izmika ljubimec resni vezi
ker vem da ko bomo skupaj
bo težko
in bodo solze kričanje 
trganje vsepovsod
kaos tanatos
všuuuuut pok tresk pam tššššš

potem bomo, vsi zadihani,
obstali za trenutek
si pogledali v oči
in počasi
korak za korakom
si padli v objem

takrat bo padel zid med nami
ki ga je sezidal strah
in bomo tako obstali
združeno srečni
do naslednjič